


What If I'm Better Alone?

by Queen_NoSleep



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Best Brother Connor, Dad Hank, Established Relationship, F/F, Gavin Reed Being Less of an Asshole, Gavin Reed Being an Asshole, Hurt Upgraded Connor | RK900, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, References to Depression, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has a Different Name, communication is important kiddos, its nines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_NoSleep/pseuds/Queen_NoSleep
Summary: Connor recognizes the similar yet deeper voice of his successor. His lips turn up a bit at the voice but doesn’t turn into a full smile due to confusion. What was Nines doing here at 8 pm? It was far too late to be traveling and close to stupid with the storm rolling in. “So you two got in an argument,”We've all gotten into arguments with people we love. Sometimes they say things we can't let go of, even afterward. Or we say things that hurt other people without meaning it. This is about how our favorite boys deal with the ins and outs of relationship fights. We see both sides of the story, including their friends watching this play out.
Relationships: Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Hank Anderson & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Tina Chen & Gavin Reed, Tina Chen/ST300 Android(s), Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I wanted to write an Established Relationship story with these two for a while now. And relationships are hard so it seemed fitting to write how this pair would react to a bad fight. I have most of the chapters written already, but some are still in the works. So I'll try to keep an even schedule before sleep deprivation kicks my ass first. Anyhow enjoy!
> 
> Based on the song Better Broken by Fintan and Alex Porat  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po3U1lpuJr4

Connor sits in the living room, stoking a long line along Sumo’s fur. Hank fusses with some things in the kitchen. It’s an average evening for the father and son pair. But there’s a bit of excitement, heading into the weekend, for the RK800 model. It would be his first trip to the farmer’s market in one of cities neighboring Detroit a few hours away. Connor compelled Hank to try and eat healthier. Normally the man could have cared less about his health and had dismissed his android partner. But when he made puppy-dog eyes that looked strangely like Sumo’s after reading an article about it, the older male had caved and agreed to at least go. 

Connor practically buzzes at the thought of tomorrow. He planned everything out like a kid before a school trip. He would get up at six, dress (in something other than his work clothes and sleepwear) put his bag in the old car, and get Hank up at nine. Allowing the lieutenant enough time to drag himself out of bed and complain till he finally got in the car. 

Suddenly the doorbell rang, breaking the android from his thoughts. “Hank! Could you-?” “Yep already on it,” Hank replies and strolls, causally toward the door. 

Connor strains his neck, trying to get a glimpse of who might be at the door this late. He breathes out in a huff when not only the wall but Hank, blocking his view. Alright fine. Connor uses his acute hearing sensors (meant for combat but what the heck?) and listens for the voices over the pouring rain outside. 

“So you didn’t contact Connor before coming?” “N-no sorry if this is a bad time. I couldn’t really think of anywhere else to go to.” Connor recognizes the similar yet deeper voice of his successor. His lips turn up a bit at the voice but doesn’t turn into a full smile due to confusion. What was Nines doing here at 8 pm? It was far too late to be traveling and close to stupid with the storm rolling in. “So you two got in an argument,” Hank says. Argument? With who? “How did you…?” “Call in father’s intuition. So do you want to come in or keep getting drenched by the rain?” 

Connor hears the door close and two sets of feet walk in. The RK800 model turns to greet Nines, pretending he didn’t just overhear part of their conversation. 

“Hello, brother! What brings you here?” Connor's eyes go to the other android's face. His smile stops short. Yes, his hair is wet from the downpour outside but his cheeks are wet from something else. Tears. When the icy grey eyes meet Connor’s the red rims confirm it. “Nines?” Connor says with a concerned expression that an older brother would give. Then it clicks in his head. The tears, the conversation, turning up abruptly. 

Connor gives him a sad smile and pats the spot next to him on the couch not occupied by Sumo. Nines hesitates for a second before slipping beside him. He sits, making sure to not touch the edge of the couch or the android next to him. He looks small for once, a far cry from his normal dominating presence. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Connor says, giving him the option to push away and stay quiet. If one thing he learned from Nines was that he steamrolls people, thinking he was helping them. He learned to back off and give people time. Or space if they didn’t want to talk or express themselves. He also made sure to not use the innercom. Emotion would bleed into the connection and that scared Nines. Having someone that close. The only person who he let get that close was, well...Gavin. 

“I….don’t know yet.” Nines finally answers, his voice rougher than usual. “Alright. You don’t have to explain it if you don’t want to.” Nines smiles gently at that. He looks up again. “What are you watching?” “On Friday Hank and I watch the local dog shows.” Connor smiles again, brighter this time. A comfortable silence comes between the two androids as the figures move on the screen in front of them. 

Hank wanders back into the living room only to see his couch completely full. He sighs. This was his house. What happened to that? Hank plops down on the chair next to the couch and watches the two androids out of the corner of his watered-down blue eyes. Nines had become sort of like a son, much like Connor had. He could read the RK900-’s emotions with little twitches and ticks of his face. But this is the most emotion he’d seen on the android’s face since he first woke up. 

“So you staying on the couch tonight Nines?” Hank asks, causing Connor’s chocolate brown eyes to flicker over to his and Nines’ shoulders to stiffen a bit. “Hank…” Connor starts before Nines holds out a hand. “It’s alright Connor. I can answer for myself.” Nines says with no harshness in his tone. “Yes, Lieutenant. If that’s alright with you.” Hank nods. “Of course son. Anything you need.” 

Suddenly Connor’s eyes lit up and he sits up straight. “What if Nines comes with us to the farmer's market tomorrow? Please, Hank? It would be so much fun!” Connor pleads. “Well, I’m not sure.” 

Hank looks over at the android before he realizes his mistake. Connor’s normal puppy-dog eyes have turned bright with excitement like a kid who’s asking if they can bring their friend on a road trip, tinted with hopefulness. 

The human sighs in defeat. “I guess. Only if Nines wants to go.” Hank watches as Connor’s energy and manipulation power turns toward the tall android. It takes everything in the lieutenant not to let out a chuckle. 

“Umm. It would be nice to get my mind off….things for awhile.” Nines shrugs. Connor claps his hands and hugs Nines. Nines freezes at the touch. “Okay Con, let Nines go. You’re gonna scare him to death.” Hank says, noticing the taller android’s reaction. Nines gives him an eyebrow as a last hold on his dignity but says nothing knowing he’s right. Connor lets his brother go but keeps a bright smile. “Tomorrow’s gonna be so much fun!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a bit more of a look into what shook up Nines so badly.

Nines stands on the back deck of Hank’s house enjoying the night air. Well, he would be enjoying it, if the fight with his boyfriend wasn’t echoing in his head. ‘You never listen to me! It’s only about your needs.’ ‘I don’t listen?! You only think about getting things done! Newsflash asshole, I’m not a damn mission. You can’t fix me!’ ‘I’m not trying to fix you!’ Nines remembers his voice breaking. 

‘That’s debatable.’ ‘No, it's not Gavin. You’re so wrapped up in your goddamn head that you can’t think about the fact that people actually care about you. We have our own thoughts that don’t revolve around yours!’ Nines winces at his past words. 

‘Oh, so you can care now? Don’t lie to me! You’re a fucking machine!!’ 

Both Nines and Gavin had frozen at his words. They still stung like a healing cut that was reopened. He had left quickly after that. He just needed some time to think. Some time to be away. Gavin was right though. His boyfriend deserves someone better, who could actually love him back like he deserved. Not some lifeless shell who’s meant to kill. Nines retracts the skin on his hand and stares at it. This is what he was, after all, just a hunk of plastic. 

The android senses the backdoor open and someone walks out. Surprise lingers in his eyes after he sees the grey-haired man beside him instead of the other RK model. Hank doesn’t say anything, just hands Nines a thirium pouch and sips the beer in his hands. 

“Doesn’t Connor take issue with your drinking, Lieutenant?” Nines asks, motioning toward the can in Hank’s hand. “Eh. He can suck it up for tonight. And he’s asleep.” Hank mutters the last. Nines smiles at his words, knowing the older male would never do anything that made Connor upset on purpose. They sit in comfortable silence and watch cars go by in the rain from over the fence, the lights passing by through the slats of wood. Thunder rumbles somewhere far from them. 

“What did he say?” Hank breaks the silence between them. If Nines could choke on his thirium he would. “W-what do you mean?” Hank chuckles softly. “Son, I’ve known you for two years now. Known Gavin for longer. Yes, he’s said some really shitty things but none that’s shaken you quite like tonight. Hell, you didn’t even cry the first day we found you. What’s going on Nines?” Hank fully turns to the android, trying to read his facial expression. 

Nines takes a breath he doesn’t need. He needs to talk with someone, the tug in his chest begging him to do so. To unbox his emotions even if it was just for a little while. “He-” Nines cuts himself off, hearing how his voice is shaky and high. He composes himself enough to speak to the human. “He said I was a machine.” Nines finally gets out. Hank visibly stiffens next to him. 

“Jesus, Reed. Should have punched him instead of Perkins.” Hank says, trying to cover up from the fact that he’s actually considering it. “No no. Gavin’s called me worse before.” Nines says, trying to stop the train of thought quickly. Hank nods gently at his words. “In fact, it wasn’t the word itself. It was the way he said it.” Nines says, getting quiet, hoping his words get drown out by the rain. “The way he looked at me. I can’t love and he knows it. He should find someone else. Leave me to eventually destroy myself.” Nines pauses before saying, “Some people are better off broken instead of hurting someone else.” 

Hank doesn’t respond and Nines grows more and more nervous at the silence. “You love Gavin right?” “Of course,” Nines says with no hesitation which makes Hank chuckle. “Then I don’t see what your worries are.” “What do you mean?” “Well if you clearly love someone then it would only hurt them if you left. Remember how shaken up Gavin was when you took a bullet? He wouldn’t leave your side until the nurses had to forcibly remove him. Think how bad he would be if you left.” Hank says and they sink into silence again. 

Nines mulls over his words. Gavin had tackled him when he came out of repairs. He smiles a bit at the memory. He wants to hold Gavin close again. Say he’ll never leave and apologize for his words. To kiss him until his jaw hurt. 

“Okay, I have to ask. What do you see in Reed?” Hank smiles at the android. “I’m aware that Gavin’s faults shine through more. But there’s more to admire about him, in my opinion. He’s loyal to the people he cares about and won’t hesitate to defend them. He would sacrifice his own life to help someone else and does every day at the DPD. He has empathy for people who've been in his situation. And when he gets scared he voices his thoughts. Which isn’t a bad thing, because he’s been thinking all along. It’s hard not to fall for him.” Nines’ icy grey eyes go to Hank’s only to see the older male giving him a knowing look. Nines sighs in defeat. Hank doesn’t say anything just finishes the rest of his beer and pats the android’s shoulder. 

“You should get some sleep. Connor’s got big plans for tomorrow and we can’t have you shutting down because of low battery. And before you start, I know androids need to recharge so don’t give me that ‘I don’t sleep’ bullshit.” Hank says before giving him one last look and heading inside. 

Nines stays for a moment longer before heading in. He finds Connor in status on the couch with Sumo sprawled out on the couch. Nines sighs and ruffles the android’s hair. He sits in a chair and goes into status too, not seeing a text from Gavin. 

Are you coming home?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you need a best friend to help you out.

A woman walks down a darkened hallway, clutching a cross close to her chest. The tension on the screen raises as the android sitting on the couch watches. She hugs a little puffball of a dog close as if the fluffy pet is a shield from the horrors on the screen. 

The human behind her, holding a bowl of popcorn, sees an opportunity to scare her girlfriend. She places the bowl on a nearby table sneaking behind the couch. “Baaah!” She yells matching the screams in the movie as a demon attacks the woman. The android throws a pillow at her and runs from the couch, LED flashing red before turning yellow at the sight of her girlfriend. 

“Tina! You scared me!” Stacey lets the scared dog down and crosses her arms. “It was a perfect moment though!” The dark-haired woman says, putting the pillow back on the couch and fixing her bun. Stacey tries to steady her glare at the other women but sighs, her normal kind nature taking over her brief anger.

“You’ve been hanging Gavin and Connor too much,” Stacey says and sits back down on the couch. “Well, that’s a sentence I’d never thought I’d hear. And how would you even know?” “You get pranky.” Stacey giggles, her tan ponytail swishing behind her. Tina huffs and sits next to her girlfriend, putting her arm around her. 

“Why do humans even enjoy this kind of entertainment?” The android says, motioning to the TV where that same woman is being torn apart by said demon and eaten in a mess of fake blood and guts. “What, don't like horror? Or are you just scared?” Tina smiles and snuggles close to the creamy skinned android. “I’m not scared!” Stacey says, her voice breaking slightly. Tina hums a response and Stacey huffs again. 

Before Stacey could construct a better argument, Tina’s phone rings, scaring them both. Stacey giggles again. “Who’s scared now?” “Be glad you’re pretty Stace,” Tina says and walks away. The little dog jumps back up on the android’s lap. “Sorry Muffin. Didn’t mean to scare you girl.” Stacey pets the fluffball and waits for the human to get back. 

“Hey Stacey, I think we should stop the movie,” Tina says and the android pauses the movie. “Why? Is something wrong?” Stacey asks with a worried expression. “Yeah...it’s Gavin. He seems really shaken up.” The officer rubs the back of her neck and glances at her phone again. 

Stacey’s LED glows yellow with worry. Her mind raced with questions. Was everyone alright? Was Nines hurt again? Had something happened on a case? Stacey pushes all of the alerts on her HUD away to see her girlfriend again. “Go. But please update me if you can.” Tina relaxes a bit at the trust shown by her girlfriend. Tina kisses the android’s cheek and Stacey smiles. “I’ll be back in a few hours and I’ll tell you when I know something.” “And-” “Yeah?” “Come home.” “Of course!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be back soon with the next chapters!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we see how Gavin is handling the argument.

Gavin paces back and forth. He hasn’t had a moment like this since he and Nines started dating. One of questioning everything in his life, feeling his mind spiral down and down. Not knowing when it would reach the bottom, wherever that is. God, he was the worst boyfriend in existence. 

‘You’re a fucking machine!’ Gavin grabs his hair and pulls. Why’d he have to say something like that? Like every other washed-up asshole complaining about the android revolution. Gavin sits on the couch, still panicking. 

‘Nines.’ He said after he’d heard what came out of his mouth. The android had looked so hurt. ‘No.’ ‘Wait Nines. I didn’t mean it like that.’ ‘Then how did you mean it?!’ Nines had yelled back, he looked like he was going to cry. Gavin had never seen Nines cry. Fuck. 

Nines had stopped for a moment waiting for an answer. Realizing the detective wasn’t going to give him one, he grabbed his shoes and coat and left. Without a further word. And just like that Gavin had fucked up the best thing in his life since his mother died. 

Gavin tries to swallow the lump in his throat, only making the urge to cry harder to ignore. Gavin pushes his scarred knuckles into his eyes till he sees white. There is a turn of the doorknob and the door to the apartment opens up. Gavin shoots up and looks in the direction of the door. “Nines?” He says as the woman looks at him with a confused expression. Gavin deflated and sunk back into the couch. 

“Well good to see you too,” Tina mutters and tosses her bag on the kitchen counter. Gavin doesn’t say anything in response. It’s not like he didn’t want to see Tina, but he at least hoped the android would come home. Gavin just wanted to see his face again, just to know that he was alright. 

God, he was such an idiot. He feels a weight sink next to him on the couch and a hand on his shoulder. “Talk to me, Gav. What happened?” Tina asks and Gavin lets out an audible sigh. Gavin moves his hands away from his eyes and rests them on his knees. “We had an…..argument. And I was a fucking dumbass who just chased off their boyfriend.” Gavin growls. Tina flicks his forehead. “Ow what the hell T?” “Be nice to my friend Gavin. He’s fragile.” Tina waggles her finger at him as Gavin rubs his forehead like a wounded dog. “Please.” Gavin rolls his eyes. “I can be as mean as I want if it’s right. And I’m not fragile, asshole.” “We talk about that later, but right now you need to explain to me why Nines ran off,” Tina asks looking up, brown eyes inspecting his own for emotion. 

Gavin gulped down his pride, knowing that it would only hurt in this situation. Tina was here to help him, give him another angle on the argument so he wasn’t stuck in the same loop. “He wanted me to start seeing someone about my possible PTSD and depression. And it pissed me off when he started pressing it. So the conversation got more heated and he said that I don’t listen to him. I said that all he wanted was to fix me. Like I’m some phcking project!” Gavin sucks in his breath as Tina eyed him with a slight glare. “Sorry.” He mutters and Tina’s eyes soften. “He told me I was selfish and I couldn’t think of the fact that other people care about me. And I….” Gavin digs his nails into his palm as the tears come to his eyes. He gulps down some air, shallowing the sob in his throat. “I called him a machine T! I’m the worst person on the goddamn planet.” Gavin smacks his hands to his face again, stinging his cheeks a bit. 

“He just left, before I could even apologize. I just want to know he’s alright. Maybe it’s better this way, him far away from me. Then he won’t be hurt anymore. Some people should just be left alone.” Gavin says from behind his hands. 

“Gavin, look at me,” Tina says with harshness in her voice. When the man doesn’t comply, she takes matters into her own hands. Literally. She puts her hands on his Gavin, cupping his face and pulling him roughly to look at her. 

“There are two things you need to know. One, yes what you said was a shitty thing, I’m not denying that. But what matters is you didn’t mean it. And two, you’re willing to admit your mistakes and make up for them. I’ve known you seen Middle School and you’ve never apologized to anyone, not even me. Anyone but Nines. You want to know if he’s alright above anything else. But you need to reach out and talk to him, tell him that you’re sorry and you’re worried about him. And I’m sure everything will fall into place.” Tina smiles and let’s go of his face. 

“Stace and I are watching horror movies, why don’t you come back with me and enjoy the night instead of moping in your apartment.” Gavin thinks for a moment before shrugging. “Why not. Let me grab my jacket.” He says and heads to the door where the leather is hanging on the hook. “And Gavin?” Tina starts as her friend slips on his jacket and shoes. “Yea-p?” “I honestly think Nines was trying to help with the therapy thing. But you shouldn’t be pushed if you don’t want to. If you ever feel stuck or in a tough spot. You can always call me to get you out.” Tina smiles gently at the muddy green eyes. Gavin has a snarky reply on hand but swallows it. 

“....Thanks T. That...it’s nice to know I have someone on my side.” Gavin’s mouth turns up just enough to count as a smile as he turns away. He just wants tonight to be over and done with. But it’s not like he can sleep anyway. Tina heads toward the door and opens it, but stops and stares at her friend again. “Maybe you should text him. If you’re worried about him.” She mentions before heading out of the apartment. Gavin chews on his chapped lips, thinking it over. He flips out his phone and opens the contact. 

Are you coming home?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor speaks with his 'brother' about what happened with Gavin.

Nines stares at a photo of a woman who was found at the bottom of a river, almost fully decomposed. It’s almost unheard of to have any Jane Doe’s in this day and age, yet it could still happen. He was going through the missing list of the immediate area, hoping something would turn up. Or to ignore the text message that he’s shoved to the edges of his zen garden. 

He sees a request from a certain RK800. Nines sighs and hits yes, letting the android materialize before him. Connor gives him a confused smile at the open case before him. Nines rolls his icy grey eyes and turns away from the other RK. 

“I thought weekends were off, Detective Nines,” Connor says with a slight teasing tone. “And I thought you didn’t like using my zen garden to communicate.” Nines raises an eyebrow but doesn’t turn away from the hovering screen. “Bad memories.” Connor shrugs. “I prefer my remodeled version better. There’s something peaceful about a redwood forest.” Connor sits on a bench next to where Nines is standing. 

“So I’m guessing working because you want to hopefully forget this?” Connor asks and holds up the message. Nines stiffens at the question. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Mm-hmm. Well regardless, Hank almost has the car packed up. But we can wait if you need a minute.” Connor stands again. “And not for work.” 

Connor closes the case in front of Nines and gets a glare in return. “Then I’ll see you in a minute.” Nines grumbles. Connor’s puppy-dog brown eyes turn into a worried expression. “Nines, Hank told me about what Gavin said. You should know that it’s alright to feel upset by those words. But it’s not fair to blame yourself for it. And it’s alright to take a break, it’s about your happiness Nines.” Connor watches closely for any sort of sign of recognition from Nines. He lets it go when he doesn’t get a reaction. “At least answer back. Gavin, he….worries. Even with his odd way of showing it.” Connor says before disconnecting. Nines looks at the text again. 

I’ll be spending the day with Connor and Hank  
I just need a minute to think, Gavin

Nines stares at the messages again. He hopes this was the right call. Nines exits his garden to hear Hank calling from outside. “Nines! Come on son, we’re losing daylight!” “Coming Lieutenant!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short update. But I'm writing the last 2-3 chapters of this story. I'll be back soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos always appreciated! :)


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